


Sending Regards

by oneinspats



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: Gift Fic, Hogswatch, M/M, too cute it hurts, well for the two gentlemen involved it's cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-16
Updated: 2013-12-16
Packaged: 2018-01-04 20:22:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1085300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oneinspats/pseuds/oneinspats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A fluffy fic, as requested: </p><p>Here is Vimes and Vetinari having a cute Hogswatch eve moment. Well. Comparatively. </p><p> </p><p>(I’ve never been one for traditional Christmas-themed fics (the only other one I tried to write involved monsters that lived in the shadow of the snow and devoured people. So.). But I decided to give it a try. And I don't really do fluff so that was hard too)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sending Regards

**Author's Note:**

  * For [strawberriesandtophats](https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberriesandtophats/gifts).



What Vimes understands is that it’s Hogswatch Eve and there’s snow and ice and a blistering wind strong enough to sear the skin off mere mortals. 

When he breathes in his nose hairs freeze. He’s convinced that this cannot be healthy. In response he hikes his scarf over his nose for a minute, in order to defrost. 

What Vimes also understands is that a certain (expletive - expletive) patrician is rather keen on rooftops in the winter. And this same patrician likes to use the words  _bracing_ and  _feeling alive_ and  _charming_ and  _the only time the city looks clean_ (although Vimes does agree with the last one). Vimes personally thinks Vetinari mad and most likely inhuman.  _  
_

The patrician breathes out, his breath ghosting along in the breeze.

Vetinari appears utterly convinced that cold rooftops are good for a person’s constitution. Vimes rubs his hands together and decides that he hates the man. 

'I received a card from Madam today.'

It’s apropos of nothing. Vimes rolls with it and nods along. 

'She mentions the weather for over a paragraph and a half.' This is mulled over. 'I believe this means that she is content in Pseudopolis for the moment.' 

'You don't think she would be?'

'Hm.' 

Vimes tries to light a cigar, if only for something to do, and fails. He shoves the matchbox away. Brutally. 

'Madam does get bored easily.' 

'Family trait.'

'Oh dear, I should hope not.'

The wind is changing direction, calming down, but it’s still balls freezing cold so the commander remains convinced that the two of them will be discovered frozen stiff in the morning leaving Ankh-Morpork leaderless and then where would they all be? 

In the hands of the likes of Rust. Or worse. Captain Carrot. He derails this thought and returns to the cold. 

Vetinari magics a thermos (Keeping Things Hot For A Long Time Flask) into his hands and offers it to Vimes. ‘Chocolate,’ he says. ‘I believe it’s traditional.’ 

'Bloody well is.' Vimes takes a sip. He asks about Vetinari's childhood Hogswatches. Vetinari replies, Ah, that yearly question. 

They drink the chocolate in silence. 

When they finish it’s snowing and there are flakes melting in hair, on cheeks, and between puffs of breath. 

A bell tolls One. 

They don’t say a thing, although Vimes might have shifted closer, if only to keep his limbs awake and because of the cold. Regardless, their shoulders are touching and there is starlight above and Vimes hates narrative consistency. 

'Rosie sends her regards.' Vetinari says. 

'What?'

'Madam mentioned it. “Ms Palm cordially sends her regards and greets both you and your arresting fellow Sir Samuel” I believe were her exact words.' 

'Sir.'

‘ _Vimes._ ’

'Sir.' But it's said with a smirk. 'Should I ask why Ms Palm is visiting your aunt over Hogswatch?'

'Whatever do you mean?'

'Never mind.' 

Vetinari may have smirked. Or he may have smiled. Or he may have done nothing. It may have been a trick of the light. Vimes isn’t sure. (And if one of them quickly grabs and releases the other man’s hand, neither mentions it. Because it’s happened before and will happen again so best to leave it be.)

Instead, Vimes shakes his head and suggests they move inside before they’re arrested for trespassing. They clamber down. It feels like childhood with the cold and the smell of fires and the taste of bittersweet chocolate. 

In the alleyway, in the snow, and wearing a ridiculous red and white scarf, the patrician says to the commander, ‘Happy Hogswatch my dear Sir Samuel.’ 

In the alleyway, in the snow, and tugging his old knitted hat further down to cover his ears, the commander says to the patrician, ‘Happy Hogswatch you bloody bastard.’ 


End file.
